Emily embarking on her solo travel
For most of my life, I was petrified of the thought of traveling alone. I knew some people adored it, but couldn’t imagine why. I loved having others to share my experiences with, and I couldn’t stand the thought of trying to navigate foreign territory on my own.
Then, a few summers ago, I was visiting Europe for two weeks and found myself unintentionally traveling solo for the last leg. I was going to spend the first part of my trip with my mother in the UK and then with a friend in Germany. I had another friend studying abroad in France, so I planned the last five nights of my trip there. I knew I may have a day or two alone, but thought I would be with him most of the time.
Due to a last-minute mix-up, the friend ended up not being in Paris when I was. I disembarked my train from Germany with a pack on my back and nobody by my side. All of a sudden, I was a 22-year-old American girl on my own for five days in France, a country I had never visited and whose language I did not speak.
I became hopelessly lost on the way to my budget hotel. It was on a Sunday, when almost everything was closed. Nobody I approached could or would speak English. Taxi drivers turned down giving me a ride because it was too close to my hotel, but they wouldn’t properly explain how to get there. After an hour of circling the same one-mile radius, sweaty and exhausted, I finally stumbled into my hotel. My room was the smallest hotel room I had ever seen, and I immediately felt claustrophobic. It was unseasonably hot outside and the room had no A.C., and my window overlooked a noisy interior atrium with very little breeze. I sat down and sobbed.
I called my father and informed him about my situation, and asked him to move my flight up for me. I would be there three nights instead. I felt relieved and resolved to make the very best of my time there, even if I felt stranded.
I retrieved my map and guidebook and began exploring the city with fervor. I toured the Louvre, Père Lachaise Cemetery, and Notre Dame Cathedral. I walked along the Champs-Élysées, Arc de Triomphe and the Tuileries Garden. I rode the RER out to Versailles and explored the ornate palace. While it was strange not having a mate to share these incredible experiences with, I felt so proud that I was able to get around myself and be so independent. I loved proving to myself that I was capable of not only handling, but making the best of this experience. There were no major crises besides several bouts of getting lost, though I did learn quickly that the Metro ticket machines only accept euro coins or European credit cards (thankfully, a kind stranger lent me a few coins when I made this mistake the first time).
It was easy filling the days by visiting endless attractions, but I found that the evenings were lonely. I’m not the type of person who would enjoy going to a bar or club by myself. I did go to dinner by myself a few nights, which at first felt awkward, but wasn’t so bad when I brought a book. After dinner, I usually retreated back to my room to read or watch television, though one evening I did go out and see a movie in English. Another evening, I ventured back out to see the Eiffel Tower light up, but I did feel slightly unsafe walking the dark and quiet streets alone. Looking back, I should have sought out some live music or dance performances to keep my evenings busier.
I think traveling alone those four days was so challenging because it was unplanned and unwanted. It was thrust upon me and I was unprepared. But I learned that I am capable of going it alone in a foreign place with a foreign language and enjoying it when I really put my mind to it. While I think I would have enjoyed it more with a companion, surviving that journey made me a stronger and more empowered traveler (and person). I now look forward to my next solo traveling experience, especially since I will have the advantage of planning it out ahead of time and being emotionally prepared for the hurdles.
Have you ever traveled solo? Do you prefer traveling alone or with others? Was traveling alone your first time difficult?
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
I think the first time you go solo is always terrifying. Confidence comes with practice.
One thing I’d note is that if you stay in hostels it’s really easy to connect with other solo travelers and releive some of the lonelyness.
Great post Emily.
Both my daughters (at the time 18 & 19) travelled for over 6 months solo. It was b scarry for us at times with the occasional midnight phone call seeking assistance – I even ended up once speaking to a Thai doctor at 3am to clarify just WHAT he intended to inject my daughter with! (antibiotics in the end)
They generally stayed at backpacker accommodation in shared rooms so there was a ready group of new friends to enjoy the sights (and party with…) Another great option they found was WOOFING. Both of them did it for various time frames, Gave them stability (and time to dry out!)
Sue, my wife, recently went on a 6 night backpacking trip on the Overland Track in tasmania solo. She was 52 at the time and still very nervous BUT had a ball – She blogged about it here: http://ourhikingblog.com.au/2008/04/overland-track-tasmania-sues-solo-trip.html
Good luck with your next trip!
Frank
I’m all about the traveling solo, for the same reasons you felt it was beneficial. It’s for sure not for everyone, but I think it’s something all travelers should experience at least once. I feel my most comfortable when I’m alone in the world. I dunno, I’ve got lots to say on the issue; here’s what I mean: http://lonelygirltravels.com/2009/12/14/sola-a-fetal-manifesto-and-healing-tattoo/
Great story Emily. It’s true, it can be challenging but once you get the first one under your belt, you’re ready for anything!
My first solo experience wasn’t by choice either but it helped shape the rest of my travels and experiences so I am truly thankful for it.
Thanks for your input, everyone! I’m glad to see that everyone agrees that it gets easier the more you do it. I know it’s not for everyone, but I think traveling solo sometimes allows you to be more open to new experiences. Cheers!
What a great opportunity for you! I agree with everyone else – if you do it more often you will find your own rhythm and become more adjusted to the pace of doing whatever *you* want to do
Cheers and sounds like a great experience!
I travel more often alone than not and don’t mind it. The nice thing is the absolute freedom to do whatever you want but there are times when it would be nice to have somebody around to share the experiences with. I think it’s good (if possible) to try and achieve a blend on every travel. Get some alone time in while making it part of your pre-trip plans to meet up with others or going to some social/expat/etc. event.
Great piece Emily. Traveling alone CAN be intimidating. It’s also freeing in a way one would not imagine until actually doing it. Spent nearly a month abroad 2 summers ago, primarily in St. Petersburg, RU. Had friend living there, but he owns a business there, so often I was on my own. By the time his parents came (I did not even know they were coming), I knew ST. Pete’s well enough on my own to be THEIR guide. His Mom kept remarking how well I knew St. Pete’s. I did not tell her I had one of those wanderingaroundincirclesimlost moments just near the area she and I were standing.
This is my favorite building in St. Pete’s. http://bit.ly/ChurchofSpilledBlood I still get goose bumps thinking about first time I saw it, with a gorgeous Russian friend as my guide, the building lit from the ground as it was dark. I was stunned at it’s beauty. And hers.
I was kind of on the same boat – just never thought I would travel alone… just thought it wouldn´t be as fun, until 2 years ago I spent a month in Asia traveling alone most of the time, but met friends when they were not working and made new friends at hostels and it was a great experience!