Shoppers at the Istanbul spice market (photo by E. Gerson)
In Western countries, we are independent and like to make our own decisions. If we want to shop at a certain store, we will go to that store. If we want to go to a certain restaurant, we will go eat there. Nobody is standing outside of establishments trying to lure you in elsewhere or make you feel guilty for your choices.
When I arrived in Istanbul in late February, I was flabbergasted by how aggressive the men were. Outside of every bar, restaurant, or shop, there was a man standing there trying to hustle and charm us into his business. As two obviously foreign young women, my friend and I were unfortunately the prime targets for these pesky men.
Rather than pitching their service or product, they first try to engage you in conversation. The usual opening line is, “Hello! Where you from?” Due to my dark complexion nearly everyone there thought I was from Spain, so men were constantly shouting, “Hola!” at me. Once inside a store or booth, they often quickly serve you a cup of piping hot apple tea, a drink so sweet and delicious that it tastes like liquid candy. It’s hard not to stay until you finish it, and during that time period they attempt to convince you to buy their products. If you try to leave before the tea is gone (or reject the tea outright), they act personally offended.
These hustlers try to use emotional appeal to make you feel guilty. One time, a man pressured us so much and wouldn’t leave us alone (and made promises of discounts) that we ended up in his restaurant without even really wanting to eat there. After scouring the menu, we decided we just didn’t want to have dinner at that place. At one point, the man came over to our table and was acting a little too affectionate, hugging me and making me feel uncomfortable. Soon after, we tried to quietly sneak out, but the man saw us and tried to make a big scene about how we were breaking his heart. We left anyway.
There were several times when I went into a shop just to be nice because the men were so pushy and I felt like I couldn’t say no or get away. While they weren’t holding a gun to my head, they are so good at charming and hustling that it can be hard to say no without having to put up a fight, especially if they follow and keep pestering you. They will give you every reason and excuse in the book.
At first you may think it’s flattering to have the attention of so many men. Sadly, it quickly becomes exhausting and a total hassle. You get tired of people yelling at you, approaching you, and doing anything they can to get your attention. You simply want to go where you want to go without being bothered. It’s on every corner, so you can’t get away from it. At first I tried to simply say “no” or “sorry” to the men we passed by, but I soon became so frustrated that I began to ignore them completely. I just kept my eyes focused ahead and walked straight, acting as though nobody was there. It was comical how many languages they tried on me — they often thought I just couldn’t understand them. Some would follow us, trying out new lines to convince us. One man even shouted out, “I promise I will not hustle you!” One man actually meowed at me.
I have been to Mexico and Jamaica and other countries where they operate like this, but Istanbul was especially difficult. I have a feeling it was as bad as it was since we were two women — I was there with my 6-foot-tall boyfriend, I have a feeling they wouldn’t have been nearly as aggressive with me.
Have you ever had a situation like this in a foreign country? How do you usually handle it?
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Just keep walking… mostly it’s a lot easier. Yes, Istanbul is especially bad for this, and obviously more than 10 years after my visit, it’s still the same. The city itself is very worthwhile though.
Yeah, after a day or two, I began flat-out ignoring them and just walking, though even so, it can still be a bit exhausting! I agree though, it’s definitely a city worth seeing. It has lots of great qualities. I just found that the constant hustling wore on me after a while!
Marrakesh is a lot like this but usually a quick sideways nod and moving on relieves most of the hassle. In Turkey a quick flick of your head up is the local way of saying no.
I wasn’t a big fan of Instanbul at all either, okay i was there in Winter just bypassing on my way through to Bulgaria but I origanally wanted to saty longer and catch a football match.
It never happened, not much happened, i just wanted to leave after 2 days but I got drunk with those pesky harrassing gypses all morning, a bit stupid but good fun. They said 90% of Turkish men earn their living that way, that is their work. it’s the way they live, it’s culture, it’s Turkey!
http://www.thetravellerreturns.com/2009/02/istanbul-pictures.html check my link for the photos.
i usually try very hard to avoid eye contact. if that doesn’t work, i smile, calmly say “no thanks” and keep moving. don’t turn around!! glad you wrote this post—need to prepare. going in just 1 month!!
@Anil – Thanks, I didn’t know that a head flick was a sign there. I will definitely use that next time!
@Richard – Yes, definitely a great place to visit for the history and architecture, but I didn’t want to stick around too long, either!
@Claire – You may not even want to bother saying “no thanks” — I did at first, and quickly tired of it! Definitely just keep walking. You will be fine. Be sure to go to a hammam! Have a blast
In some places I keep my eyes fixed straight ahead and keep moving, but it’s hard to do that when you really want to drink in all the details. Learning local ways of getting rid of hustlers and hasslers, like Anil’s tip, is very useful so you can do both.
Oh, I know precisely how you felt! The first several times I experienced this it thoroughly, absolutely freaked me out. I felt like standing in the middle of the street screaming. I had never, ever had so many people coming at me wanting money, or wanting anything, ever in my life.
But, after several days I grew used to it and even learned to like it just because their behavior was so very different from anything, anywhere. And they weren’t rude, just aggressive out of necessity, I think, to make money. Then, even on the trip home, I actually started missing them! A tall, dark cab driver walked quickly up to me at the airport in New Jersey, asking me if I wanted a ride in his cab. It reminded me of the shopkeeers! I wanted to hug him.
LOL at the meowing! All of this is so true. I remember having two men at bars across the street fighting over us, the whole night! We sat outside at one place and the other “greeter” kept coming over trying to get us to come to his bar, even after we were served drinks. He would even bring cheesy gifts like a napkin folded into a rose. It was obvious they played this game every night. And don’t get me started on the carpet salesmen…
Like Sabina mentioned I got used to it. After spending time in Istanbul I felt so special from all the attention that I felt unwanted going to restaurants in other cities where no one was begging for my business haha! Thanks for this post and making me remember this unique aspect of good old Istanbul!!
I know what you mean, it’s why I don’t spend much time in the tourist areas like Sultanahmet even though there is so much to see there. As a resident foreigner, I will still be harassed.
However, as Anil says, knowing a bit about local body language can help a lot. No eye contact (you don’t know them, you don’t owe them your attention!), and a upward roll of the eyes and tsking of the tongue all mean “no, and don’t ask me again.” Act very cold.
I’d suggest women visitors not engage at all with touts. No tea (apple tea is totally fake anyway, it’s not a Turkish tradition). That can make it hard to window shop but with your silence, tsking and upward rolling eyes they will back off. If someone touches you or acts “overly affectionate” (not Turkish culture! inappropriate behavior and worth reporting to the tourist police!) you can say “Nay ay-ip!” How shameful! This should also make them back off.
Check out this recent post at expat+HAREM about unsmiling women from this part of the world. Western women visitors can learn a lot from it. http://www.expatharem.com/2010/03/24/smile-youre-in-the-west/
Thanks for your comment, Anastasia! I wish I had known ahead of time about the local body language conventions — I had no idea about that. At least I will be prepared next time. And how funny about the apple tea. Those guys are pretty good at convincing you that it’s a real tradition.
i was just in istanbul a few months ago, and i was overwhelmed at the aggressiveness of the men there (i was coming from canada). i had met up with a friend there, who had spent her summer in jordan and egypt, and she was shocked at how unaggressive they were! needless to say, i don’t think i’d be going to egypt by myself any time soon…
turkey is my favorite country in the world so far though!!
Thanks for your comment, Thalia! I have a friend who went to Egypt and said they are especially bad there, so yeah, maybe we didn’t really have it so bad in Istanbul
Either way, it’s certainly very different from how things operate in the US and UK.
There is a phychologica thing going on here.First of all, why do you accept apple tea from total strangers and why do you consider them charming when you know that they want to sell you something? And why do you feel any guilt when you are rejecting somebody? That is part of everyday life. I lived in US for many years and I hated those aggressive telemarketers and the sticky hari krishnas on the streets begging me for donations. What do you do in US in these situations, just ignore them right? That’s what you gotta do in Istanbul as well. Nothing too complicated. For more info about Istanbul check this out; http://www.best-of-istanbul.com
Thanks for your input, Mehmet. You’re right, I didn’t have to do those things. But in America, those harassment things are few and far between. There was a law passed a year or two ago that banned most forms of unsolicited telemarketing, so that doesn’t happen much at all anymore (unless you canceled a magazine or something and they’re trying to get you to subscribe again). When I’m out and about in US cities, I occasionally do see a religious group out passing flyers, but that is also not the norm — just on the rare occasion. What surprised me about Istanbul is that this haggling happened EVERYWHERE I went — it was the norm. Bars, restaurants, shops, and even people in front of attractions fighting to be your tour guide. We couldn’t get away from being haggled. That’s the point I was trying to make; it’s not that it never happens in the US, but it’s rare.
just came back from istanbul. loved the city, loved the trip! i have to say that i did not feel the intense pressure and the persistence and the obnoxiousness that i have experienced in several other countries. i was prepared after reading up on it, but this ended up not being my experience at all–very surprising to me! particularly in the grand bazaar, hassle-FREE. the vendors weren’t even willing to come down more than a few lira and they certainly weren’t interested enough to pursue me when i walked away. as a result, i did not buy much, because i didn’t like the prices! this may have had more to do with the fact that it was early in the morning and they were holding out for better returns from more willing tourists. down by the water was where i experienced the most hassle, as touts wanted us to buy a bosphorus cruise, but that was about it. on the streets by restaurants, they always called us to come in, but left us alone if we kept walking. one guy even apologized to me, when he could see how frazzled i was (over something else going on at the moment). anyway, i feel as my experience may have been atypical, after reading everything else.
Claire – so happy to hear that you had a wonderful time! How interesting that you weren’t haggled too much. Were you traveling with a guy? When I went, I was with another young woman, and we wondered if we were targeted extra hard because there weren’t any men with us. You’re right, perhaps going early in the day helped! I did find that some vendors weren’t willing to bargain (and a few were insulted that I even asked), but most would nudge a bit. Anyway, so glad you enjoyed yourself and didn’t have to worry about these hustlers!
This is really a downside of visiting Istanbul, I know.. Even I sometimes feel disturbed. This has become a tradition in the touristic places like Old City etc.. But as all others have said, ignoring them is the best and to be honest, the only way to get rid of those pushy salesmen.
And you might be right, two women might be more appealing to try to divert into customers than a woman and a man. But there is no need to worry or taking extra precautions about this.. Just accept that this is the case and act like it if you don’t want to be sold anything. Don’t drink that tea or don’t even answer the questions.. Don’t accept to talk to anyone that seems “very affectionate”, just say “No”.. Simple right?
I hope you do come again to have better time this time, you’re more experienced now..
For more about Istanbul, from the view of a local: http://www.istanbulextralarge.com/tips-for-women.html
Isn’t it kind of similar to those construction workers hooting and hollering at you on the streets here in the US…I mean, would you stop and actually have a conversation with one of those construction workers? Just a thought…………
@MEK: it is definitely similar. Though in Istanbul, they were much more persistent, and many of them followed us down the street and wouldn’t leave us alone. In the States, it’s more of a quick whistle and stare, and then it’s over with. But believe me, I hate that, too!
The hustlers can be so charming, much more persistent and untruthful.